Common Misconceptions Tourists Have About Ireland

AS IRELAND gets to grips with the flow of international travel once more, there will be a substantial increase in the number of foreign tourists seeking to enjoy all the wonders Ireland has to offer.

In an attempt to ensure incoming tourists have as good a time as possible, WWN would like to clear up the common misconceptions they may have about the Emerald Isle:

The weather is shit

No, it’s much worse than that.

Irish people are very welcoming

I take it you’re an American with money burning a hole in your pocket.

Irish people have a severe intolerance for being belittled by ignorant tourists espousing out of date stereotypes of the country

Again, if you’re an American with money we will begorrah and bejaysus ourselves until we collapse from exhaustion.

A modern country with a vibrant economy, it is full of great places to live

How did that Fine Gael brochure for cuckoo funds get in here?

It’s green

That’s Galway you’re thinking of, and if you’re looking for the good stuff don’t worry you’re never more than a metre away from a cannabis connoisseur there.

Ireland’s scenic drives are among the most breathtaking in the world

You won’t be saying that after the Wild Atlantic Way’s potholes cost you a fortune when you attempt to return your rental car.

There’s so much more to Ireland than Dublin

If that gets you out of the capital and stops you asking us why we shrug our shoulders at all those people sleeping on the streets in Dublin then yeah, Clare’s nice we guess.

This Guinness keyring is a family heirloom worthy of the rip off the €20 price tag

Fucking spend your money, ever last cent of it, and don’t be be complaining!

We all know each other

Suppose, it was Sean Kelly who told you that. It was? Some bullshitter, always was, even back in school.