HSE Turn Attention To Shutting Down Soup Runs For Homeless As Nothing More Important Going On


TWO infamous Dublin based soup runs that shamefully feed those in need for free face closure by the HSE, who have no other pressing engagements currently it seems.

“Aw stop, sure this is last thing I want to be enforcing as part of the environmental health section, regs which are normally limited to businesses, but it’s not like I’ve anything else to be doing,” confirmed a HSE suit.

“I wish there some global scale health crisis at play, I’d be first in line to tackle that, but look it, it’s all easy breezy so they send lads like me out to do this, the really important work”.

“If I’m being honest I got into this job for things like eradicating waiting lists for children and mental health patients. Reestablishing cancer treatment services, making sure Cervical Check was running smoothly, but we’re just so free of issues at the minute, it’s onto banning the kindness of strangers towards the homeless,” continued the HSE man.

Asked if they insist on inserting themselves into the situation could their time be better spent examining the conditions in the city’s hostels, long feared by homelessness people due to the presence of violence and drugs, the HSE confirmed “not our area pal, that’s DCC, we’re just here to overturn tables full of food meant for the hungry, you never know, a crust might be a bit stale. We’re saving lives with this stuff”.