Obama Dog Bo Dumped In Ocean, As Is Tradition

FORMER President Barack Obama has apologised to his family for ordering the body of their dearly departed White House dog Bo to be dumped in the Arabian sea, claiming it was a ‘force of habit’.

“That’s my bad, I was acting in accordance with Doggy Law” said Obama, after telling his family that their beloved Portuguese water dog had been dumped off the side of an aircraft carrier.

Obama went on to praise Bo as being a ‘very good boy’, who in his years at the White House achieved a great many things:

– Became the first dog to launch a drone strike on a foreign nation, thanks to a specially built doggy launch button

– Put thousands of Hilary Clinton’s emails fully out of the reach of prying eyes, with a weekend of immense chewing, shredding and burying.

– Became the only dog to bite both George H.W. Bush and his idiot son, George W. Bush, in the same day.

– Was a key member of the team that left the White House inhospitable to the incoming Trump administration, by providing 150kgs of fresh dog poop which President Obama and then Vice President Biden hid in desks around the building.

– Took the blame for the vast majority of Michelle Obama’s farts during visits by foreign dignities.

– Ate hundreds (possibly thousands) of precious, irreplaceable pieces of American memorabilia.

– Disabled a Russian spy posing as a Secret Service agent by ripping out his throat in a violent, prolonged attack. Witnesses say the Russian spy was left looking ‘like a Pez dispenser’.

RIP Bo, may the bowls of Shamrock delivered by our Taoisigh over the years have served you well as urinals.