‘We Thought It Was Free To Take’ Israel Apologises After Misunderstanding Phrase ‘Free Palestine’


TAKING TIME out from recent deadlocked elections, Israeli officials admitted to being left red faced this week after finally realising the term ‘free Palestine’ did not actually mean it was free to take, citing an embarrassing misunderstanding on their part.

For years Israeli settlers had apparently thought they were doing Palestinians a huge favour by taking the land off their hands and always wondered why the people were so aggressive about them helping, but it has all started to suddenly make sense.

“No wonder they were wailing at us all the time and lobbing mortar rounds at us,” revealed Isaac Feinstein, who admitted to being so embarrassed over the whole thing that he nearly gave back the 10 acre land he acquired via a bulldozer and armed members of the Israeli army, “it’s actually hillarious now I think back on it; what a complete and utter cock up on our part,” adding, “so, all those ‘free Palestine’ signs are really saying ‘give it back’? Hilarious! Oh, well”.

Much like when a piece of furniture is left outside someone’s home with the sign ‘free couch’, successive Israeli governments, who do love a nice freebee when they see one, apologised to the Palestinian people, before insisting on continuing their land-grab regardless of the obvious mix-up.

“We started so we might as well finish the job,” explained a government official, “no point in taking it off their hands in a half-arsed, leave them a tiny bit of land way. No, no. Best just go full hog and be done with it”.