Local Man’s List Of Things He Wants To Do After Lockdown Heartbreakingly Mundane

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“I can’t wait drink a cup of coffee, but y’know… sitting down” mused Waterford man Eoghan McCardle, wistfully staring out his front room window as yet another day of lockdown trundled along.

Like the majority of people, McCardle’s dreams of a post-lockdown life don’t extend to lavish foam parties and orgies and dogging, and licking every pedestrian crossing button he sees, but are instead more rooted in ‘just normal stuff’, even things that many would consider to be boring.

“I’d love to go to a shop and buy trousers. Remember trousers? I’m not talking about ordering trousers online and getting them delivered to your house, I’m talking about walking into a shop, seeing a pair of trousers I like, trying them on – in the changing rooms! And then buying them. And taking them home. And wearing them nowhere in particular” he sighed, running through the list of things he’d love to do ‘when all this is over’.

Also on McCardle’s ‘to-do’ list:

  • Go grocery shopping in a different Aldi than the one beside him
  • Have a pint with the lads back home, even the ones that he doesn’t really like and just stays in contact with because he knows them from school
  • Take the kids swimming, despite his claims after the last debacle that they were ‘never going swimming again’
  • Probably go visit his parents

McCardle was quick to point out that the long-standing list of DIY jobs that have piled up over the months that he could not complete due to ‘the shops being shut’ still aren’t on his immediate post-Covid to-do list.

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