European Union Leaders Spend Day On Hold With AstraZeneca Customer Service


UNHAPPY with the lack of transparency over the vaccine producers’ failure to deliver its full compliment of doses, EU leaders have spent a frustrating day stuck on hold with Cambridge based AstraZeneca.

“If you are a trading block of nearly 500 million people and haven’t received your order please press 5,” spoke the disembodied pre-recorded voice down the line to an irate Ursula von der Leyen.

“Your call is important to us, you are anywhere between 2nd and 4,567th in the queue, a customer service representative will be with you shortly,” Angela Merkel heard on another line.

Within the customer services department of AstraZeneca, staff were working around the clock to reassure customers.

“Haha, watch this,” one customer service rep told a colleague as he took one leader of hold for a brief second before just putting them straight back on hold.

“This call will be recorded for training purposes and our own amusement,” Emmanuel Macron was told for the 15th time while on hold.

The frustrating search for satisfactory answers and explanations for why the vaccine producers have failed to fulfill the EU’s order on time were worsened by leaders being subjected to terrible hold music which seemed to mock them.

“Are these cheeky pricks actually using songs by The Vaccines as their hold music?” groused European Commissioner for Health Stella Kyriakides.

Despite the appalling level of customer service, AstraZeneca is still better rated than Eir when it comes to dealing with unhappy customers.