Handsome Darts Players Just Decades Away

GENETICISTS tasked with studying people who play darts professionally have predicted that as the sports gets more and more popular with television viewers a good-looking darts player is an inevitability and only decades away.

Studying over 100 of the top players in the world, the scientists discovered that the growing revenue stream in the sport will eventually create an increasing number of dart player millionaires who will in turn start attracting better looking spouses and thus better-looking children who will eventually grow up to become objectively handsome dart players.

“All you have to do is look at how footballers have changed in appearance from the 1960s onwards when money started to dominate the game,” lead scientist Professor Tony Hanrahan explained, “we went from Bobby Charlton to Olivier Giroud in just 50 years, so we’re pretty confident the darts players of the future will look less Shrek, and more Prince Charming”.

“Furthermore, the link between money and sport can also be proven in Ireland’s non-professional native sports like hurling and football, where a large majority of players resemble Mr. Potato Heads,” Prof. Hanrahan concluded.

However, when it comes to the world of horseracing and jockeys, the group of geneticists said there was ‘no hope for those ugly fucks’.

Donate to our legal fund by purchasing some of our class t-shirts and mugs www.waterfordwhispers.shop