Proposed Coalition Hints At Daily Rotating Taoiseach

THE PARTY leaders in the next government will start each working day drawing straws to see who’ll become Taoiseach for the day, sources inside Leinster House have confirmed.

Leaks from party talks between Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, who are seeking some propping up from a selection of independents, hinted that at 8am every morning the sitting Taoiseach will be announced to the press and will spend 24 hours in the hot seat.

“It’s quite clever really because if something does go tits up – which it will – the public won’t really know who to blame on any given day,” our source added.

Minor details ensuring Simon Harris is Taoiseach on his birthday every year and Micheál Martin getting to hand over the shamrock bowl on Paddy’s Day have to be ironed out. Since there is a leap year in 2028, it is proposed that the Taoiseach for that day could be a competition winners on the Late Late Toy Show in the relevant year.

“And obviously the Taoiseach’s parking space, it’s commonsense to expand that to two spaces which should only cost about €4 million to do,” added another FF/FG source.

It is not clear whether a government will be formed by the time the Dáil resumes on the 22nd of January after its two-month break since the elections, but if not then WWN has been reassured that they will definitely know the craic in time for the summer holidays.

“We can’t rush these things and it’s really fun watching the independents and Social Dems licking up to us looking to get into power,” the source went on, “there is one thing that we all do agree on though; it’s high time we get another nice bump in salary”.

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