Local Man Celebrates ‘World Books Gathering Dust On Shelf He’s Never Going To Read Day’

WHILE MILLIONS across the world share in celebrating World Book Day, local man Andrew Fanning had a one-man literary festival of his own which involved guilt-ridden glances at his neglected book shelves.

“I have failed you,” Fanning said, pleading forgiveness from a vast array of literary sensations of years gone by whose pristine, untouched exteriors mocked his lofty goals of reading ‘a book’ sometime in the 2020s.

Despite celebrating World Books Gathering Dust On Shelf He’s Never Going To Read Day in isolation, Fanning could turn the occasion into a money spinning worldwide affair as there are millions of like-minded people who haven’t dog-eared a book in a decade or so.

“Honestly, no really, I had every intention of reading you it’s just, I’ve the attention span of a golden retriever puppy diving into an ocean of tennis balls,” added Fanning as he addressed Normal People, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, No Logo, three different copies of the Thursday Murder Club and dozens of weighty classics.

World Books Gathering Dust On Shelf He’s Never Going To Read Day isn’t all doom and gloom for Fanning as the extensive book shelves still offer him a chance to pretend to have read the books when entertaining friends or carrying out work Zoom calls.

“Oh, I forgot I had this one. That’s definitely next on the list,” said Fanning blowing the dust off his copy of Prophet Song while lying to himself.

Support an independent, ad-free publisher by buying yourself something nice in our shop HERE and spreading the word about our online shop!