Irish Couples Under Increasing Pressure To Have ‘Mini-moon’

A NEW SURVEY of Irish couples reveals that many feel crushing pressure to go on a ‘mini-moon’ despite ‘stupid fucking mini-moons’ only coming to prominence in recent years.

“I’d never heard of it before but now all because she saw randomer who is dead good at putting make up on herself on Instagram had one, herself is off down the Credit Union,” explained oblivious groom to be Daniel Dennan.

A toxic mix of notions, societal pressure and following influencers who get all this stuff for free, has, according to the recent survey led to 92% of couples planning a wedding or newly married convincing themselves they might not be allowed stay married under the eyes of the law unless they go on a romantic mini-honeymoon.

“Suddenly, one day out of nowhere it becomes an accepted and demanded practice in society. Notions on crystal meth. Kind of like when everyone was perfectly happy carrying water around in a plastic bottle but now everyone has been convinced you need a hardy metal container that is so oversized it can store the contents of an Olympic sized-swimming pool in it, baffles the mind but here we are,” explained g’way-out-of-that expert Shona Ward.

“A fucking mini-moon? No, you idiot, that’s what the honeymoon is for. That’s the holiday. You don’t have to have a little holiday so Paris doesn’t get jealous of your two weeks in the Caribbean. Are you mad? Why are you doing this? Why are you like this?” one bride-to-be screamed at her irrational reflection in the mirror, minutes before dropping €12000 on a 36-hour trip to France.

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