Arts Council Take Stereotype About Artists Being Shit With Money To New Heights

THE ARTS COUNCIL has formally apologised to artists across Ireland today after the news broke that the funding body spent an estimated €7mn on a new IT system that is not fit for purpose and was ultimately scrapped.

“We’ve battled against the stereotype that we’re shit with money for decades, spend it on ridiculous airy fairy flights of fancy and now this happens? From the very body promoting the arts as a serious pursuit?” one saddened artist said shortly before asking for a lend of a tenner for the train.

“It took me years to convince my mam I wasn’t an idiot for spending €900 on brass for a sculpture that featured in the Vienna Biennale. I’ve a house nearly paid off, I employ 5 people and after 27 years, just as she was nearly convinced this was a ‘real career’ you come out with this stuff,” one artist weeped.

Others artists have simply lamented the fact the money used on the costly, wasteful project could have gone elsewhere.

“I’m actually filming a new series of Love/Hate, could have done with that money,” confirmed actor John Connors.

Elsewhere, Minister Patrick O’Donovan has ordered an external audit of the organisation, raising hopes among TDs that they’ll to appear on the Six One News looking important as they grandstand and berate the Arts Council board over spending.

“I missed out on the RTÉ Tubridy stuff ‘cus I was only recently elected, I thought I’d never get the chance to do this,” blushed one excited TD, who will later use a Dáil printer to print €17,000 worth of leaflets that they’ll never use and ultimately burn in an incinerator.

Waste your money in our shop, filled with class mugs, t-shirts and hoodies, here www.waterfordwhispers.shop