“Ah No It’s Grand, Stop Fussing Over Me” Insists Irish Father With Green Bulbous Sack Growing Out Of Head

LOCAL FATHER Brian O’Fannon has asked that people ‘go away and stop being at him’ and to cease all pleas for an unnecessary trip to the doctor after they spotted a two foot long green bulbous sack protruding for his head.

“It’s nawtin now feck off with ye, I’ve never felt better,” insisted O’Fannon (64) as he batted away concern from his children and wife who suddenly think they’re all doctors.

“Now Yvonne, I know you’ll say ‘but Dad I am an actually doctor’ but you’re a cardiologist, when’s the last time you’ve looked at a head. Sure amn’t I here talking to you lot, I’m grand” insisted O’Fannon.

Now engaging in bouts of over-elaborate jostling to prove how well he is, the bulbous sack on O’Fannon’s head could be seen bouncing about while making a loud sloshing sound which prompted one of his children to get sick.

“I’d only be taking someone’s place in a queue who really needs it, you lot would be laughed out of the place bringing Mr Fit As A Fiddle into A&E,” continued O’Fannon, as his head drooped under the weight of the growing bulging orb.

UPDATE: A compromise has been reached whereby if the sack grows more overnight and the pain and dizziness increases O’Fannon will still argue, in increasingly belligerent manner, that he’ll be going ‘fucking nowhere’.

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