Dose From School Springs 30th Birthday Invite Out Of Fucking Nowhere

LOCAL insufferable, Michael Fenning, has suddenly and inexplicably invited dozens for former school mates to his thirtieth birthday via a mass-invite on popular social media network Facebook, despite having spoken to none of them since the debs.

The incident is the latest in a spate of bizarre invitations to parties and the like from doses to hit Irish Facebook in recent years, with most users reporting that they receive a random invite to ‘some shite’ at least once a week.

With most of his old classmates agreeing that Fenning was, and most likely still is, a total prick, the race is now on to gently refuse his invite in a believable manner, while laying the groundwork for an unfriending and the prevention of this problem ever again.

“I don’t even remember adding the fucker” sighed Derek Holmes, who sat beside Fenning for four years and hated every second of it.

“And now he’s asking me to his 30th? In the town I fled out of ten years ago? I’m living in Australia for fuck sake! It’s right there on my profile! My profile is me at the sign for fucking Ramsay Street! Yeah, you’ll be alright pal. Happy birthday but I don’t think I’ll be anywhere near you”.

Meanwhile, Facebook officials have stated that they will not be adding a new ‘because he’s a dose’ option to the reason why you want to block someone.