Zuckerberg To Spend Nice Relaxing Evening Listening In To Everyone’s Calls


AFTER yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls.

Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to watch and listen to as he took notes on the private conversation.

“The subjects seem to enjoy greeting each other on the visual call, but I do notice both people look more at their own faces than the face of the opposite caller,” he wrote in his journal labelled ‘Notes on how to appear human’, “maybe this is an insecurity issue, however, it could also be down to vanity, I’m still unsure about this character trait and if I should imitate this in all calls going forward in a bid to appear more like them”.

Now switching to Whatsapp, the 34-year-old opted to eavesdrop on a more traditional voice call between what his records show as an Irish mother talking to her son.

“The human child sounds as though he may be passively listening as he is making a repetitive ‘yeah’ sound every 5-10 seconds as his maternal host lists off local news from their district,” Zuckerberg entered into his notes.

“Their signing off is a strange one as they both repeated the word ‘bye’ over 20 times each before actually hanging up. This may be an intellectual difficulty or cultural custom, but it’s very strange and not something I think I should repeat,” he added, before turning to his dog Beast who was staring at him, “bye Beast, bye, bye, bye… no, this is definitely very weird”.