Drug Users In Dublin Still Using Drugs, Finds Shocking Report


A NEW REPORT about the drug using habits of drug users has shocked Dublin residents after it provided concrete evidence that there are many drug users still using drugs in the capital.

Dublin, previously not known at all as being a city in which drug users reside, is now reckoning with this startling and eye-opening news.

“I didn’t know that, that’s certainly news to me,” confirmed one commuter as he cycled by on the ‘discarded used needles only lane’ on the city’s busy quays.

Dublin city authorities had been trialing an innovative ‘if we can’t see it it’s not there’ policy which they had hailed as a roaring success, something the report contradicts.

“You know in the book Ulysses, Joyce says it’d next to impossible to cross Dublin without passing a pub, well similarly currently in Dublin it’s impossible not to see evidence of life destroying drug abuse if you have eyes and are in Dublin,” confirmed one of the researchers involved in the shockingly shocking report.

Those providing treatment and care to drug users in the city have welcomed the report but remain wary of the impact it will have.

“To be honest we’re just waiting around until an American tourist pricks themselves on a discarded needle, that way, the government will suddenly find €300 million for an overhaul of drug policy and addiction treatment,” confirmed one outreach worker.