Rooskey Hotel Applies For Asylum

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A HOTEL at the centre of a direct provision row has today approached the Department of Foreign Affairs in a bid to seek asylum from Rooskey, claiming it fears for its life and has to flee the embattled village.

The Shannon Key West Hotel made the application early this morning following two separate arson attacks on the building and it believes more attacks could be imminent.

“Sorry, please; I am scared for my life and need to leave this dangerous Leitrim,” the now damaged hotel, which had remarkably good English despite being a building, explained. “My family in danger. My sister in Donegal burned like witch too. We all very scared of future and need asylum”.

It is understood that the innocent hotel was targeted by an unknown racist group over the announcement that the building was earmarked to house 80 foreign immigrants who ironically are also seeking asylum.

“I just want to live my life like everybody else,” the Shannon Key West Hotel explained, now waiting in a rather long immigration queue in Dublin City centre, “now what am I supposed to do, lay there derelict while local drug users squat inside and destroy me from the inside out?”

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