Fuck All Stars Turn Out For Waterford Fashion Week

WATERFORD Fashion Week 2018 wrapped up yesterday after just two days, following on catwalk exhibition of Ben Sherman shirts, knock-off Hilfiger stuff from the markets and whatever you can get in TK Maxx for twenty quid or less.

The dull event attracted literally nobody from the world of fashion or art, with not even a Tallafornia reject or a social media influencer showing up to the glitz-free bash, despite all the free Tuborg and ham sandwiches on offer.

Although invites were extended to fashion luminaries such as Marty Morrisey, the Xpose girls and radio DJ Niall Boylan, in the end the event had to make do with one photographer taking shots in portrait on his iPhone while local designer Cait Lennon showcased her new portfolio, ‘St. Vincent De Paul’s half-price bin’.

“Perhaps Waterford doesn’t really need a fashion week…?” mused Lennon, widely regarded as a tax on the patience.

“No, actually, you know what? I won’t hear of it. If London, New York and Paris can have fashion weeks, then there’s no reason Waterford can’t. Everyone just needs to get more into fashion, and what it means to the world. Look, there’s a boy wearing a hoodie, that’s fashion right there. He’s making a statement; ‘I’m cool, I’m relaxed, but I’m also edgy. You can’t see my face, because there’s a shyness in me but my soul is begging to’… Oh, shit, did he just stab that old woman?”.

Plans for Waterford Fashion Hour 2019 are already in place.