“Wow, Local Gay Man Doesn’t Even Act Gay” Confirm Coworkers


A LOCAL WATERFORD office was full to the brim with discussion as staff at Nealon Solutions dissected the behaviour, interests and mannerisms of one coworker they discovered was gay.

According to the crack team of four employees decamped to the staff canteen, Rory Herrons (34), doesn’t fit any of the easily attributable stereotypes to homosexual men, sparking intense proclamations of shock and surprise at the fact he is indeed gay.

“I heard him mention rugby there a few weeks ago, but he was talking about some final and the result, not like how he wanted to mount the entire team or get thrown into a scrum wink wink, nudge nudge,” Angela Heaney explained, still reeling from Herron’s decision not to arrive in on his first day several weeks ago atop a Gay Pride float blaring Rihanna tunes while covered head to toe in glittery dildos.

“You’d just never think it to look at him,” the coworkers all took turns repeating, each wearing a flabbergasted look on their faces while consulting their Straight People’s Guide To The Gays handbook.

“Jesus, there’s whole chapter towards the back of the book, about how they’re not carbon copies of one another. But still, when I asked him this morning if he liked musicals, he just said ‘yeh’, he didn’t break into song or anything,” confirmed coworker Graham Ballings, a man who has yet to meet a camp man he doesn’t immediately make note of in his mind as being camp.

While Herrons has failed to give his coworkers ample notice of the fact he’s gay despite not ‘even acting gay’, it is not yet clear if this is something he will apologise for.

“I nearly fell off my chair when I heard,” confirmed Sharon in accounts who has an uncanny ability to fall in love with gay men, “well, now I’ve someone to chat to about Ru Paul’s Drag Race,” she added, unaware Herrons has no intention of talking about his favourite show with any of these pricks.