Meghan Markle’s Irish Trip To Include How Husband’s Family Starved People To Death


NEWLY installed royal and positive headline generating PR machine Meghan Markle is set to visit Ireland with her husband Harry Windsor this week, with an itinerary jam-packed full of visits to sites of historical significance.

Top of the list is a visit to Ireland’s excellent EPIC museum of Irish emigration where Markle will learn of how her husband’s family presided over the Famine which resulted in near endless death and decimation, to tune of over 1 million dead. Yet another example of how thoroughly modern the British Royal family is these days, it is expected they won’t even deny the Famine occurred.

“To confirm, Meghan will look gorgeously demure while learning about how the British Empire folded its arms and shrugged its shoulders as Ireland edged toward oblivion. The perfect picture of the modern ideal of what it is to be a princess,” a team of PR professionals explained while proudly poring over a Instagram feed full of Markle devotees.

Markle is set to learn of her own family roots in Ireland, which the Irish government normally fabricate in cases of visiting celebrities when they don’t actually have any Irish ancestry.

“Meghan does actually have some, so that saves us a lot of bother with photoshopping records and hiring someone to pretend to be her 42nd cousin twice removed,” explained an Irish tourism official.

The trip represents another chance for the newly married Markle to get a chance to learn more about her in laws, something many people can relate to.

“When you’re married, you usually get to know the quirky aunt who is always racist, which can be tough. But spare a thought for Meghan when she gets introduced to the Bengal famine or the concentration camps in Kenya,” offered one expert in in-laws relations.