Latest Batch Of HB Ice Creams Transported To Shops Via Armed Guard


DEPARTING from an undisclosed location this afternoon, a line of trucks transporting ice creams exited a top secret HB facility in a bid to supply shops throughout the country with Ireland’s most precious resource in times of intense heat.

Clicks from walkie talkies and frantic hand motions indicating ‘go, go, go’ saw armoured trucks protect the convoy as it was feared members of the public, desperate for the sweet cool release that ice creams bring, could try to intercept the trucks.

“Well, everyone remembers what happened Lidl during the snowstorm earlier in the year,” pointed out special ops leader Jonathan Carey, who is tasked with overseeing the transport of the valuable goods, “we’ve had to take out a few JCB diggers already, but we’re quite confident we can make our drops”.

With already dozens of blackmarket ice creams touts being arrested across the country, Gardaí are warning consumers to stick to guaranteed HB ice creams only, as some people have been duped into buying counterfeit products, like Corn Netos, which were found to be just frozen corn on the cobs when opened.

In one instance in Dublin City this morning, a member of the public snuck into a shop and disguised himself as a fridge freezer. It is understood the shop keeper had placed about 80 Icebergers into him before he got up and escaped.

Gardaí are also warning the public over an increase in the number of ‘drive by ice creaming’, which sees desperate members of the public biting into strangers’ ice creams before running away.