“Leaving Cert Shit Since They Changed It” States Local Man


LOCAL man Francis Milton has come out against the apparent simplicity of the Leaving Certificate examinations, stating that back in his day the exam was a real pressure cooker that would reduce even the toughest of students to a blubbering mess ‘but by God, they toughened themselves up and did it’.

Milton, 40, made the statements today after noticing comments on his social media timelines about students who struggled with the first couple of LC2k18 papers, as well as growing calls to reform the structure of the examinations, which many believe don’t teach students how to do anything except regurgitate lines and formulas learned verbatim, with little or no independent thought required.

Firmly stating that the Leaving Cert he took over 20 years ago was ‘way harder’ than anything kids have to face these days, Milton went on to confirm that ‘it’s no wonder these lads can’t get jobs and afford houses’ if this is all the knowledge they have.

“Look at this thing; no metalwork, no Tech Graphics… do these kids even know how to make a mitre joint?” fumed Milton, looking at the LC schedule.

“It’s like everything else in this country, they took something that worked and they ruined it just for these snowflake kids. If they were to go back and do the Leaving Cert I did, they’d see how hard it used to be. Granted it seems that all the subjects that I gave myself an ulcer over have all been rendered obsolete by the passage of time and the advance of technology, but fuck it; I had to study it, these kids should have to study it too”.

The furious Waterford man went on to state that the current curriculum is ‘barely worth’ a serious drinking problem in later life.