Hardline US Abortion Campaigner Just ‘Always Wanted To Visit Ireland’

ULTRA-conservative Milwaukee native Garret Merser has arrived in Ireland for a once-in-a-lifetime trip that will see the staunch advocate of Ireland’s 8th amendment ‘tour around’ the country until late May.

Stressing that he’s always wanted to visit the emerald isle to retrace his roots and see the sights, Merser is set to take in the Book Of Kells, the Blarney Stone, Newgrange, the Cliffs Of Moher, and if he has time, as many pro-life rallies and demonstrations as his schedule allows.

Starting with a whistle-stop tour of the busiest roundabouts, high-footfall streets and college entrances of the city, the 67-year-old devout Christian has stressed that his arrival in Ireland just as the country prepares for what will most likely be the most bitterly fought referendum in the country’s history is ‘pure coincidence’, and that it’s always been his lifelong dream to fly 7,000 miles to a country he’s never been to, accompanied only by the 167 members of his anti-abortion church group for company.

“I’ll admit your 8th amendment is beautiful, but honestly we just wanted to try this Supermacs that we’ve heard so much about,” said Merser, waving a placard of a dead foetus at a 16-year-old girl.

“So our church decided that they’d bankroll a little holiday for us all, which was super generous of them. An 8-week trip to Ireland, with all expenses paid, and all we have to do is relax and take in the sights, maybe do some protesting here and there, maybe stand on the side of the road and let people know about how sick and perverted some Irish women are, and how their evil plan to murder innocent children in the womb is an affront to God himself. And if we have time, the Titanic exhibition”.

Although Merser himself has no ties to Ireland, many of his group were born here, before being sold to American families by nuns in the 50s and 6os.