Ireland Clinch Gold In ‘Downhill On Empty Fertilizer Bag’ Event At The Winter Olympics

COYBIG! The Republic Of Ireland continue to bring home the Olympic gold in yet another stunning performance, seizing first place on the podium for the ‘going down a hill on an old fertilizer sack with a bit of straw stuffed into it’ event.

Monaghan native Art McArthur captained the ten-man freestyle sledding team to victory with a stunning series of runs throughout the niche Winter Olympics sport, which was fiercely contested solely by the Republic Of Ireland and members of team GB, mostly from Scotland and parts of Northern Ireland.

McArthur lead his squad in record-setting runs down the gentle 90-yard slope, at times reaching speeds of nearly 18 kmp/h, while scoring extra points for both style, speed, distance traveled at the bottom of the hill, and skillful avoidance of strategically-placed frozen cow shite.

“Ah yeah, it’s all down to a consistent training program,” said McArthur, back in the Irish camp where he and the rest of the team were standing with their backs to a number of roaring open fires.

“Pretty much everyone on the team here has had a go on a sled made out of a fertilizer bag at some stage over the years. Most of us had our last go there when the big snow came back in 2008 or so. But it’s the kind of thing you never forget. Get a load of straw, throw it in an empty 10-10-20 bag, tie it off with blue baling twine, drag it to the top of a hill, and kiss your hole goodbye”.

The Irish success will be chronicled in the upcoming movie, ‘Some Cool Running, Bai’.