Guide To Filling That Coutinho Shaped Hole In Your Heart


TRY as Liverpool fans might, there’s no escaping the fact they will miss the services of newly unveiled Barcelona player Philippe Coutinho.

But what can fans who have already cried into their pillows and burnt their home and away Coutinho jerseys do to fill that Coutinho-shaped hole in their hearts? WWN Sport has the answer:

Ice cream, a bottle of red wine, some chocolate, some more ice cream, and some more red wine. Stick The Notebook on

Let it all out, there’s a good lad.

“Bought for £8 million, sold for £142 million”

Liverpool have done an amazing bit of business all things considered. In today’s market £142 million could pay for a fish caught by Tony Hibbert and secure the services of a 5-goal a season striker from the bottom half of the Championship. Now all that’s left to do is be held to ransom by clubs as you seek to buy his replacement while also not buying a goalkeeper.

“We don’t need him”

That’s it, it’s only when you are free of someone do you truly realise they were actually holding you back. Liverpool aren’t the sort of team that need a player that a club like Barcelona were willing to pay £142 million for.

Look up obscure stats that somehow prove talented youngster Trent Alexander-Arnold can slot perfectly into the reverse deep-lying forward-thinking false no.9 wide trequartista role Coutinho once occupied

If the fact 23% of Alexander-Arnold’s passes backwards to Adam Lallana in the final 10 minutes of all away games played on a Sunday doesn’t convince you he’s ready to replace Coutinho, then frankly, you know nothing about the game.

Repeat the following

This year will be our year.

Give that Steven Gerrard compilation on YouTube another spin

Go on, you deserve it.

Eventually learn to trust someone again and enjoy that bit before they rip your heart out

You and Coutinho had some good times, and at the end of the day, after you ignore the 12-minute, expletive-filled rant you put up on your YouTube channel, isn’t that all that matters?