Five Little Babies Run Out Of Shit To Do


THE long-suffering parents of an over-energetic set of quintuplets have finally managed to relaxed for ten minutes, after their genderless kids finally exhausted the amount of things that they could do while singing about it.

The mother and father of the Zool family have enjoyed their first day off in years, following a non-stop string of their 5 little babies taking part in a wide range of activities, from jumping on a bed, to visiting a vehicle showroom.

Fearing a total mental and financial breakdown, the Zool’s managed to reign in their toddlers’ enthusiasm for repetition using a simple method that may be familiar to other parents.

“We just stuck an iPad in each of their hands so they’d sit still for ten minutes,” said Dadda Zool, enjoying a cup of coffee without having to get up every 20 seconds to say ‘no more babies playing with the masks’.

“And they didn’t open their mouths for a full day, just sat there watching one mindless video after the other. Before this, they’d all be taking turns wearing funny caps or opening giant eggs or some shit, each making sure to do it one at a time so they could really, really piss you off. Now, they just flick away listening to shit nursery rhymes rendered in crappy 3D graphics, cranked out by some content farm in the far east. It’s bliss. Their mother and me, we’ve never been happier”.

When asked if he was concerned about the unregulated, sometimes macabre, completely unsuitable content that sneaks through YouTube’s piss-poor filters warping his kids’ minds at such a young age, Mr. Zool simply replied ‘nah’ and stared at his own phone for an hour.