Rogue Twitter Employee Given Nobel Peace Prize
AS construction begins on monuments containing everlasting flames to commemorate the brave actions of an unknown Twitter employee who deactivated Donald Trump’s account yesterday, the Nobel foundation has confirmed that this year’s Peace Prize will be awarded to the employee.
Trump’s Twitter account was shut down for 11 minutes by the employee on their last day with Twitter, during which time World War Three and a second American Civil War were averted.
With Trump’s hourly bigotry-filled rants, warmongering, and threats to launch nuclear strikes against North Korea seemingly not in breach of Twitter’s terms of service, this lone soldier took it upon themselves to do something to save the world before the President destroyed it with 140 characters while taking a shit.
“To this brave man or woman, we would like to say thank you,” said a spokesperson for the Nobel foundation.
“While Twitter themselves are perfectly happy for Trump to tweet out declarations of war, bigotry and racial hatred, this person said no ‘no more’. We heard reports that the White House went into the highest state of emergency when Trump couldn’t log in to his account for those 11 minutes, which kept their mind away from banning spotty dogs or whatever the fuck they would have otherwise been doing”.
Meanwhile, the Secret Service have been given a ‘shoot to kill’ order while they hunt for the rogue employee.