WWN Property: How To Name A Housing Estate

WITH the property boom back in full swing, developments are finally starting to spring up around Ireland once again. People have money, people have no homes, people need homes, people will pay huge sums of money for homes… the only problem faced by developers now, is what to name their housing estates to make them stand out from the rest. Never fear, WWN Property has the answers!

Something Irish

Nothing says ‘we’re not funded by vulture capitalists’ quite like a quaint sounding Irish housing development. ‘Uisce Deas’… that means lovely water, or something like that, but doesn’t it sound like the kind of place you’d like to live? ‘Yes, me and the family just moved into ’11 Bothar Uisce Deas’- no matter how riddled with pyrite the land under your house is, you’re still going to sound classy when you’re ringing up for a Dominos. ‘Uachtair Iontach’, ‘Sneachta Maisin Niochain’… there’s literally no way to do this wrong.

Stay earthy

‘Woods’ are good, even if the only woods that were ever in the area were cleared so that you could build a block of flats. ‘Meadows’ works too. ‘Brook’, of course that works. Then just jam it all together with another word until you’ve got something like ‘Woodsvale Rise’, ‘Meadowbrook Grove’… fuck it… Grassville Terrace. Anything at all, really.

Look you either want a house or you don’t

To be honest, you could name your estate ‘We Fuck Kids Here’ and people would still want to buy a house there. There’s fuck all houses for sale, and people really don’t care. ‘Hitlerville’. ‘Fuck The Pope Town’. ‘9/11 Heights’. Go nuts, pal.