Nation Urges Varadkar Not To Make Such A Holy Fucking Show Of Us
HAVING hoped that a newer, younger, more modern Taoiseach would mean less national embarrassment for the Nation, the population of Ireland has today issued a statement expressing their disappointment at Leo Varadkar for making such a show of himself during his first visit to 10 Downing Street, while urging him to ‘keep it in check’ in the future.
Varadkar, visibly emotional at how brilliant it is to be Taoiseach, gushed about how he felt ‘a little thrill’ when he remembered the scene in Love, Actually where Hugh Grant dances around the halls of Downing Street to the tune of ‘Jump’ by the Girls Aloud.
The statement, which drew mild laughs from the assembled press, caused the entire population of Ireland to slap themselves on the forehead and exclaim ‘fuck sake, Leo’ in unison, an event which registered a Richter scale reading of 3.5 on seismic sensors in the Pacific ocean.
“If Mr. Varadkar is going to remain on as Taoiseach, he’s going to have to keep this kind of shit in check,” said a designated spokesperson for Ireland, following 4 million signatures on an online petition entitled ‘Ah here, Leo’.
“Quit acting so giddy on these trips. What’s next? Will he be on a trip to the Middle East and giggle about how it looks like Jewel Of The Nile? Will he go to meet Trump in Washington next March and gush about how everything looks like The West Wing? Keep it together lad, you’re making us look like saps over here”.
Varadkar has yet to respond to these criticisms, as he is taking an open-top bus trip around London just like Joey and Chandler did in Friends.