Record Number Of Kevins Being Referred To As ‘Kev’

THE LATEST FIGURES released from the Institute For Recording Nickname Usage (IFRNU) suggest that a growing number of Kevins are insisting people call them ‘Kev’, leading to a record number of Kevs.

“Just call me Kev,” confirmed 76% of Kevins surveyed by the IFRNU, in the largest study of its kind ever conducted in Ireland.

“While ‘Kevin’ communicates a formality normally associated with any and all first names, Kevins eschew such conventions preferring to appear relaxed and chilled out about formal name calling. Nearly 4 in every 5 Kevins now identifies as a Kev, it’s really fascinating stuff,” explained lead researcher Dr. Kev Fagan.

However, the IFRNU research is not good news for every Kev in the country, as the some of the study makes for uncomfortable reading.

“A lot of Kevs turn violent if you persist with calling them Kevin despite their laid back insistence that ‘Kev’ will do fine actually,” added Dr. Fagan.

The study suggests that Kevs have such a nonchalant and easy going nature that when people call them by the more formal ‘Kevin’ they immediately turn to violence to correct any name calling which suggests they are anything but relaxed people.

“There’s a complex series of psychological phenomena at play as well, which begs further studying, but some Seans, Eamons and Nialls have taken to changing their names to Kev as well, keen to feel that warm and jovial response all Kevs feel when introducing themselves as ‘Kev’ to the general public”.