Trump Promises To End Syrian War Once He Finds It On A Map


A RELIEVED world has expressed its gratitude to president-elect Donald Trump after he revealed he would bring an end to the increasingly barbaric conflict in Syria.

Explaining to his Twitter followers that the conflict would soon draw to an end, Trump cited the impending use of his brain as the catalyst behind finding a solution to the bloody war.

Asked by newscasters on Fox News to elaborate on his claims that he could end the 5-year conflict where so many others have failed, Trump was prompted by the anchors to get ‘specific about Syria’ which the future leader of the free world duly obliged.

“It’s not in the pacific, Syria is in the Middle East,” Trump explained, pointing to Africa on a map provided by Fox News.

What followed over the course of the next 30 minutes were a series of increasingly sad attempts by Mr. Trump to identify where Syria was located on the map.

“Here…” Trump said tentatively while staring at Fox News anchor Sean Hannity, possibly looking for hints. However, Trump’s finger unfortunately found its way to Jamaica as he maintained the ‘bestness of the plan’.

After receiving some criticisms about his lack of geographical knowledge, Trump entered into a 42-tweet tirade in which he blasted maps and their ‘obvious bias’ against him.

Trump confirmed that ‘nobody uses maps anymore, lost out to Google Maps, maps and atlases are just desperate for attention. Sad’.