‘Endangered’ Bees Actually Just Hiding, Waiting To Attack, Warn Scientists

IN A dramatic turn of events this week, scientists have issued a stark warning over so-called ‘endangered’ bees, claiming the flying pollinators are actually just hiding from the human race in preparation for an imminent global attack.

Contrary to previous reports that several species of yellow-faced bees native to Hawaii are now on the American ‘endangered list’, scientists from the University of Michigan now believe there may be trillions of bees festering in unfound hives, possibly hidden under the earth’s mantle and various other places humans can’t access.

“Everything and everyone on this planet is in immediate danger,” said apiarist Professor Mark Chadason, whose team has been studying bee behaviour for over 30 years, “These bees are secretly reproducing underground since the end of the last century and are gearing up for an all-out-war with us. They are not going extinct. The exact opposite is true, and the whole planet is going to pay for what they have done to their natural habitats”.

A United Nations-sponsored report released in February this year claimed that about 40 percent of invertebrate pollinator species (such as bees and butterflies) face extinction, and that our future food supply is also in danger because 75 percent of the world’s food crops depend on bees.

“Bollocks!”, insisted another bee expert, Tim Littlewood, who also claims bee’s are up to something, “I would advise every man, woman and child on this planet to buy at least 12 pairs of bee repellent suits if they want to live to see 2020. Bees are on their way. Bees are coming for you, me and every last one of us humans who have messed them over in the past. Bees never forget”.

It is understood the last great bee attack took place over 66 million years ago, when a large swarm took on the dinosaurs, rendering them extinct.