Cliff Richard Still Under Investigation For Millennium Prayer

BRITISH singing legend Sir Cliff Richard was today cleared of all sex abuse charges after nearly two years of investigation, although it remains to be seen whether or not he will be prosecuted for crimes against humanity over his 1999 hit ‘Millennium Prayer’.

Richard, 109, was said to be “thrilled” that the sexual abuse case had been dropped after the Crown Prosecution team found “insufficient evidence” to go to trial, although he confided that he didn’t fancy his chances when it comes to his musical version of Our Lord’s Prayer.

Released in November 1999, the singing of Our Father to the tune of Auld Langs Syne netted Sir Cliff his 14th British number 1, albeit at the expense of his last remaining shred of respectability.

16 years later, the song remains one of the worst of all time, with many stating that it’s only a matter of time before Richard has to pay for his crimes.

“We can forgive people for a lot of things, but that’s a bridge too far,” said one Yewtree investigator.

“Richard may still face a jury over his cruel and unusual torture of the population with that dreadful song. If it was up to me, he’d never see the light of day again”.

God, co-writer of The Millennium Prayer, was unavailable for comment.