Pedestrian Gonna Cross That Little Bit Slower Now Just To Piss You Off


AN ELDERLY gentleman crossing the road just there will walk that little bit slower just to piss you off, he would later claim as retaliation for your obvious impatience.

Paddy Dunphy, (79), admitted he could have just waited until you passed as there were no other cars coming behind you, but felt you were going a little too fast for his liking, and needed to slow you down.

“He came down the road like a feckin’ rocket sure,” he later told his wife, “he was like a dog that I pressed the lights. The big fancy car on him. Young people have no patience these days at’ll.”

Crossing ever-so-slowly, and making sure to keep you in his peripheral vision while pretending not to notice you, Paddy stopped half way for a rest and a little bit of a scratch, before continuing on again to the other side.

“That’ll put manners on him,” Paddy later said, while admitting to being quite pleased with himself at the thoughts of it all.

In a recent study carried out by the Road Safety Authority of Ireland, 87% of pedestrians admitted to some form of passive aggressive behaviour towards motorists, with many opting for the slow cross routine as their favourite.