Convincing Grandmother To Vote Yes In Marriage Referendum Enters 39th Hour
79-YEAR-OLD Eithne Cully has been keep in the confines of her modest surburban kitchen for 39 hours as her granddaughter Nuala continues in her attempts to convince the elderly woman to vote yes in the upcoming marriage equality referendum.
Denied several toilet breaks and with the fridge down to just some milk and eggs, Eithne has thus far failed to change her initial decision, which is believed to have been made some time in the 50s, to vote no.
“Gran, you wouldn’t like it if I told you myself and Rory couldn’t get married would you?” Nuala passionately intoned some 39 hours after she arrived at the house armed with a copy of Ireland’s Own and some flowers.
“But sure you can get married so what are ya giving out for,” Eithne said, squinting her eyes as the light from a nearby lamp proved too strong.
“Tell me why you won’t fucking vote yes Gran,” Nuala fired back as she moved the lamp closer to her grandmother’s face in what was an otherwise sparsely lit kitchen.
“Honestly Nuala love, all this talking is a bit much for me and I’m bursting for a piss, can I please just go,” Eithne added as she pushed off the kitchen table in an effort to stand up.
It was at this point Nuala strapped her grandmother to her chair and produced an iPad. Nuala pressed play on a number of heartwarming and inspiring viral videos about marriage equality, forcing Eithne to watch close to 7 hours of footage before the iPad’s battery ran out.
Eithne went on to admit that the people seemed perfectly lovely but wasn’t quite sure what that to do with her decision to vote no as she just doesn’t want gay people getting married.
After 39 hours, it is believed grandmother and granddaughter are still firmly locked in a stubborn stalemate with Eithne only granted a small break from interrogation to watch RTÉ’s Telly Bingo.