Desperate, Sweaty And Broke 63-Year-Old To Pitch Idea For App To Everyone At Web Summit


old man
DEEP within the environs of the RDS, 63-year-old Séan Hooley is desperately pitching his idea for an app to all attendees of this year’s illustrious Web Summit.

Recently redundant Séan was let go from IT consultant firm Massey and Associates as it became apparent he belonged to that generation of IT workers who had just been making it up as they went along.

“Email was a bit of a struggle for me if I’m being honest,” Séan told WWN, “you haven’t seen the Bebo stand have you?” he added as he scanned the room for potential investors in his app idea.

Now visibly sweating, Séan has reportedly been seen clutching at casual attire of young 20-year-old billionaires as they passed him by.

“If I could just have one minute to talk about my app?” Séan was heard crying out several times before falling to his knees.

Séan’s passion for his app idea is matched only by his fear of not meeting his mortgage repayments, leading to ever more desperate attempts at having his idea listened to.

The newly unemployed man took to posing as a toilet attendant as it provided him with essential income while also allowing for conversations with some of the tech world’s most narcissistic people.

“Hi, I was admiring the steady stream of your urine back there and couldn’t be reminded of this idea I have for an app,” Séan opened with one confused urinal user.

Follow our continued coverage of the Web Summit here.