White 100M Sprinters Continue To Dominate 7th Place

EACH passing day sees yet more progress made by white athletes in the 100 metre discipline as they have managed to dominate and make their own, the coveted 7th place spot in one of the most exciting and explosive athletic events.

In a race meeting in Paris just last week, German sprinter Wolfgang Strauss romped home unchallenged by other white sprinters to the that vaunted 7th place finish just behind runners from Jamaica, USA, Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, Bahamas and St. Kitts and Nevis.

“I honestly don’t know how they are doing it, it’s a proud day for all Caucasian people, to be able to really command their sport, that 7th place doesn’t seem to be leaving us any time soon,” Steve Holt, coach of Strauss told WWN.

Holt’s joy was somewhat dampened by white sprinters poor showing in the 100 metre final at the Commonwealth Games which saw Kemar Bailey Jones of Jamaica take gold, with England’s Adam Gemili taking silver and bronze falling to Jamaica’s Nickel Ashmeade. The final did not have a single white sprinter in the field.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at,” added Holt, “we could, after several years and an exceptional doping program really make that 7th place our permanent home”.

Many Caucasian sprinting fans have urged the IOC and other sporting bodies to issue an additional medal for 7th place so as to provide white people with some sense of pride and achievement. While the material for the medal has not been decided upon, many have suggested a move away from precious medals and instead to something of little monetary value such as lint or bread crumbs.