Incredibly Boring Person Insists On Telling A Story


A group of friends gathered for dinner in the house of Daniel Fitzgerald yesterday evening in the hope of enjoying some good company and even better food.

However, the night was to take a coma-inducing turn when Andrew ‘Andy’ Mongey decided to share with his friends a long and terribly uninteresting story.

Bouyed by the warm and enjoyable atmosphere in his friend’s home the usually shy and quiet Andrew mustered up the courage to tell a positively tedious anecdote. The telling of the story, Andrew insisted, required the music to be turned down and people to cease their dancing and general fun-having.

Daniel, a skilled and experienced host tried his best to talk over Andrew in order to prevent a deathly silence, but was unable to prevent the story being told.

Rob, another friend in attendance tried throwing Andrew off by very seriously asking ‘who is this guy again?’ before Andrew reminded him they were in fact brothers.

After several false starts Andrew began to tell a story about a trip to the Zoo he had made which involved a funny giraffe, or wait, was it an elephant? Never mind.

“Andrew is to storytelling what Hitler was to the Jews,” remarked one guest under her breath.

A full 8 minutes had passed before Andrew was ready to deliver what resembled a punchline of sorts leading to a smattering of polite but half-arsed clapping, which just about drowned out one guest who proclaimed “is it that? For fuck’s sake!”

Andrew, an incredibly boring person, had unwittingly exercised his ability to suck the life out of any party, thus bringing a premature end to the evening’s proceedings.

Many in attendance vowed to never again set foot into a room which had Andrew in it, but would no doubt be left awkwardly making conversation with him after he crept up on them.