Tomorrowland DJs Fear They’ll Now Have To Rely On Set To Entertain Crowd

FOLLOWING a fire that gutted the entire Tomorrowland main stage, DJs performing at the iconic Belgian music festival may now be forced to rely on something they’ve largely avoided for years: actually playing music to entertain people.

“No fancy visuals, no pyrotechnics, no smoke cannons, lasers or LED walls – what will tens of thousands of people film with their phones now?” fretted one panicked DJ backstage.

“All the attention will be on us now. Like, how we actually mix tracks… the majority of us are absolutely screwed,” added another music producer, visibly sweating through his designer sunglasses.

One headline act, speaking under condition of anonymity (and heavy Auto-Tune) explained their concerns.

“Normally I just hit play, throw a few shapes behind the decks, then invoice the organisers for €200k and private chartered jet. Now it looks like I’ll have to actually DJ like they did in the old days. I’m charging double for this nonsense.”

Around 100,000 revellers are expected to descend on the town of Boom, near Antwerp, many of whom now face the terrifying prospect of just watching a DJ play music without any flashing lights, synced visuals, or confetti cannons to give the illusion of depth.

“I bought a brand-new iPhone for this,” complained one festival-goer. “If I can’t film something exploding in slow motion with every drop, what’s even the point? If the entire crowd isn’t holding up a phone, is it even real?”

Tomorrowland organisers say they are ‘exploring emergency backup distractions’ including glow sticks, female dancers in cages, and a couple of big bouncing balls to entertain the bored crowd.

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