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“You Know Who That Dress Would Suit Though? Your Sister” Insists Local Mother

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INSTANTLY regretting accepting the invite to lunch and a nose around the shops with her mother, local woman Siofra McCracken is currently having the limits of her patience sorely tested.

“I wouldn’t mind only she spent 20 minutes begging me to try it on,” shared McCracken as her mother Angela continued in excruciating detail to explain why she can’t take offence to the observation that her sister has the arms for a sleeveless dress.

“Ooh, no, now it’s on you I see what it’s such a poor fit for you,” Angela McCracken observed, unprompted, launching into a string of observations that increased her chances of being sent to a nursing home at the earliest opportunity.

Shepherded into fitting rooms in a number of high street shops to try on dresses she didn’t need and for social occasions she hasn’t been invited to, McCracken was trying to extricate herself from the 9th consecutive dress her mother has insisted only resulted in highlighting her extensive flaws.

“Stripes or patterns, knee length or ankle length, today’s just not your day Siofra love is it? If Aoife was here now, I can picture her in this and aw, it’d be perfect for her,” explained McCracken senior, unaware her daughter was picturing an open grave in the Wicklow mountains.

“Should I get it for her? It’s not her birthday until after yours but it’ll be a nice surprise for her, a treat,” concluded the McCracken matriarch, who will later deny for the 498th successive time that she doesn’t have any favourites.

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