Doctors Urge Ban On ‘Destructive’ Smartphone Use By Irish Parents Over Certain Age

THE GOVERNMENT should declare social media and phone use by Irish parents as a public health emergency, at least that’s according to the Medical Organisation of Ireland.

The MOI has significant support among younger people who have spoken movingly about the detrimental effects exposure to Facebook and Twitter among other social media apps has had on their parents.

“Mam forwards 150 warnings about scams on WhatsApp everyday, it’s got to the point where she doesn’t do anything else all day because she’s too busy forwarding these things,” a distraught 19-year-old Clíona Tyrell said of her 53-year-old mother Patricia.

Doctors are seeking the government to ban mobile phone use for people 50 and over, as all indicators of mental health show that parents of a certain age will believe something simply because it’s on the internet.

“They still know how to use rotary phones, it’ll be like riding a bicycle. They’ve no need for TikToks about how Taylor Swift is a secret Satanist or how drug dealers are sneaking drugs into Halloween trick or treat bags,” explained doctors, who observed decay in the part of parents’ brains which operate the ‘rabbit hole’ and ‘basic cop on’ sections.

“Vulnerable parents are exposed to a cocktail of harmful content such as homeopathy and a constant supply of memes that weren’t funny when they were first shared via eircom.net email address in 2001, it’s not too late to act we can ban social media now,” confirmed head of MOI Professor John Moore.

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