Nonchalant Parisian Crowd Slow Clap Octuple Somersault In Gymnastics Event

POLITE disinterested claps met a history-making, psychics-defying octuple somersault at the Bercy Arena in Paris today as a little heralded athlete achieved Olympics immortality in gymnastics.

“Soyez silencieux,” urged Parisian locals who were seated in the arena, irritated by the exuberance displayed by Romanian coaches as their gymnast Crina Albescu did the impossible, rotating her body eight times in succession in a somersault while suspended in the air after liftoff from the mat during her floor exercise.

“Chut, so rude!” insisted several crowd members, openly smoking and with their backs turned to the action as they complained about the presence of tourists in their city.

As the speaker system confirmed Albescu’s routine has achieved something thought impossible while picking up a perfect 10 score, some locals mustered the energy to half-heartedly clap in an unconvincing display of awe and praise.

“Et alors? Who do they think they are, we don’t have a moment’s peace,” griped one Parisian who was used to carrying out an affair with his co-worker in row Z of the arena which is usually deserted when not staging international competitions.

Elsewhere, Parisians hit back at complaints over the cancelling of the triathlon swim due to water safety concerns in the Seine, stating “you knew our river was a breeding ground for filth when you awarded us the games, now you are surprised it’s dirtier than our erotic shows in Montmarte. Quelle surprise!”.

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