Government Open To All Road Safety Measures That Result In Increased Revenues

THE RECENT further increase in road deaths has resulted in renewed calls within government for those in government to see if a few more fines for driving offences which are not related in any way to dangerous driving might do the trick.

“I’m just spitballing here but would increasing the fines for not paying the tolls do they trick? It’s win-win because revenue would increase but the foreign company with the toll licence gets the money,” suggested one cabinet member during a round table discussion.

“Giving money to councils so there’s more parking wardens to clamp someone if they over stay their time in a parking space by 10 seconds? Two NCTs a year?” offered another.

Fostering a collegiate atmosphere in which no suggestion is a bad suggestion unless it involves wholesale changes to how road infrastructure is built and maintained, the coalition cabinet insisted it would not rest until a solution is found.

“Could a new semi-state body be set up? Like an RSA that monitors the RSA? A lot of us here aren’t contesting the next general election, could be a few handy jobs in that. Even a consulting gig on whether a report should be launched to review the feasibility of a feasibility study?” said one senior government member.

“Ooh ooh, it’s not revenue generating so don’t all shout at me at once, but what if we reduced the speed limits on roads but leave rural roads in complete shite state?” ventured one brave TD to loud applause from his colleagues.

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