Experts Estimate 107 Future Olympians Were Conceived At Yesterday’s Homecoming Parade

DUBLIN CITY COUNCIL and the Olympic Federation of Ireland are celebrating a job well done after setting up free lubricant stations and the blaring of a ‘Baby Making Music’ playlist from Spotify resulted in an estimated 107 conceptions of future Olympians.

“You can’t waste good vibes, pride and a sense of jubilation, the planning for the 2044 Olympic Games held in Louth began weeks ago,” explained one sexologist consulted by Irish sport authorities hoping to build the next generation of Olympians.

With thousands gathering on O’Connell Street to welcome home the Irish team, many budding parents and complete strangers were overcome by a combination of pride and erotic feelings brought on by catching sight of Rhys McClenaghan’s biceps.

“It’s our duty to help Ireland succeed in the Olympics in the future, and if that means leaving in the middle of the homecoming parade to ride in the Supermacs toilets on O’Connell Street so be it,” shared one couple, who were unaware they have inadvertently conceived an Irish break dancer so unexceptional they will make Raygun look like a dance master.

Meanwhile, Gardaí confirm they are working round the clock to find those present on O’Connell Street who are responsible for stealing all 7 medals from victorious Irish Olympians moments after they stepped off the bus.

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