Nestlé Factory Spotted Beside Newly Discovered Water Reservoir On Mars

DESPITE the discovery of a deep reservoir of water miles beneath the surface of Mars being less than 24 hours old, Swiss food giant Nestlé, most famous for illegally taking possession of public water in America and reselling it as bottled water, have already stake their claim on the red planet’s supply.

Not having an active space exploration program before yesterday proving no barrier, Nestlé have managed to refocus all production to invent and build a rocket with the capability of transporting a fully constructed water extraction facility to Mars.

“Yoink, ours!” confirmed a spokesperson for Nestlé’s corporate malfeasance division, who promise they’ve learned their lesson on using child slavery in their production after being the subject of lawsuit several years ago.

“During the 2020 drought in California we took 700mn litres from the water supply, so draining Mars of its water shouldn’t prove much harder”.

The discovery made by NASA’s Insight lander, which was destroyed in mysterious circumstance seconds after Nestlé landed on the planet, suggests there is enough water deep underneath the planet’s surface to fill all of the Earth’s oceans.

Elsewhere, a devastated Elon Musk can’t believe he missed his chance to monopolise Mars’ water supply because he was busy hosting an audio live-stream of his tongue providing much-needed moisture to another arid orange-tinged landscape; Donald Trump’s anus.

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