“Why Don’t You Want Your Brand Next To Xenophobia, Misogyny & Homophobia?”

IN THE WAKE of launching an antitrust case in US courts against the world’s leading advertisers for advising brands not to advertise on his social media network known for having a high volume of xenophobic, misogynistic and homophobic content, Elon Musk whined exclusively to WWN.

“X is the marketplace of ideas, only a fool would not want to advertise their cola or trainers next to a thread of someone comparing, unfavourably, the skull sizes of African Americans with the pure bred white race,” mused Musk, still at a lose to understand why advertisers he told publicly to ‘go fuck themselves’ at a panel discussion earlier this year do not want to advertise on his platform.

“As everyone knows, I’m for absolute free speech but not the part of absolute free speech where it is legal for private companies to spend their advertising budget as they see fit, I’m sorry but that’s 1984 communism”.

“And hey, the world’s racists also buy products, you’re missing out on a big demographic,” added Musk.

“It is my legal right to demand that these agencies prove in court that they should be allowed not advertise on a social media platform that has gutted its safety team to the point that the presence of child sexual abuse images has increased. Only an idiot wouldn’t want to push their products on here”.

“This is the sole reason X has lost hundreds of millions in revenue since I bought it and tanked in value,” concluded Musk, who has made headlines for repeatedly promoting misleading information, spreading conspiracy theories and his platform’s failure to censure calls for violence against minorities.

Elsewhere, a Dublin restaurant which specialises in serving soup made of faeces and chlamydia is taking people who do not frequent the restaurant to court in hopes of forcing them to buy and consume the shit soup.