Politicians Who Have Fuck All To Say About 14,429 Homeless Very Vocal About Oasis Ticket Pricing

THE TRADITIONAL publishing of the latest homeless figures late on a Friday evening so that it slips the attention of the public was met with a stampeded of tumbleweed from many Irish politicians.

Despite the figure of 14,429, few Irish politicians in power found the need to express their anger or call for immediate investigations into the unjust conditions prevalent here in Ireland. A reaction which sat in stark contrast to their blood hot rage at the price of Oasis tickets.

“I’ve got to get a quote in the newspapers on easy PR win shite like this,” confirmed one local representative who sends the same copy and paste, dispassionate boilerplate email to all her constituents when they email her in desperation over their impending eviction and homelessness.

“This cannot stand, this is a disgrace, we as a government must move as one and immediately send a message that this is not how things are done in Ireland,” said one minister, definitely not talking about homelessness, rather making their 15th Oasis related media appearance of the last 48 hours.

Displaying ‘Error 503’ every time a media outlet tries to get them to appear on radio or TV to defend the government’s record on misery enhancement in society, politicians flooded the phone lines of the same outlets begging to fill the ‘outraged politician slot’ on the Oasis ticket controversy.

“Something is terribly wrong with society if a politician can’t glom onto an issue such as this like a bullshit barnacle and claim I’m fighting for everyone. This is why I’m calling for concert tickets to be capped at €5 for everyone,” confirmed every local representative in the country.

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