Named & Shamed: The Ungrateful Shits Who Never Wished Their Dads A Happy Fathers Day


WITH forgetting Father’s Day now officially becoming a crime against humanity in the International Court of Justice, WWN has compiled a shortlist of all the local ungrateful little shits who didn’t even bother to text their dad yesterday for the world to see.

James, 2 months old

Fresh from his mother’s womb, local son-of-two James Hackett spent the whole day yesterday whinging and moaning about trapped wind making the entire 24 hours about himself without so much as a ‘dada’ or ‘papa’. Hopefully the little prick will learn his lesson and make up for it next year.

Kathy, 9

Kathy was apparently too busy having a great time on a play date to even remember she had a dad yesterday, but daddy was watching on despite the barring order that her mother had to get. He’s still your dad, Kathy.

Tony, 29

Tony was too busy on the sesh all weekend necking Batman pills to realise what day it was so Tony thought it would be okay to send a text today wishing his father a happy Father’s Day. Too late Tony. You’re a fucking mess, kid. Clean your act up.

Deirdre, 18

Deirdre’s excuse of being a Jehovah’s Witness who doesn’t celebrate such days is a pretty valid one, but c’mon Deirdre, break the mold a little here, sure you’d be excommunicated from your religion, but capitalism needs you to comply by purchasing a piece of cardboard for five euros with a humorous image of a father figure drinking beer.

Tanya, 78

Miss lazy arse here didn’t even bother to visit her father’s grave yesterday in the UK, even though Ryanair were doing a €5 seat sale. Return! No excuse, Tanya. Bad form. Don’t expect him to meet you at the pearly gates on your passing.