“This Is Not A Meltdown” Confirm Arsenal Fans Mid-Meltdown


ARSENAL FANS have been quick to clarify that their team is not in a meltdown but have been hampered by the fact they themselves are a sweaty sobbing mess of panic and hurt.

“It’s not, it’s not, it’s so not that, it’s not a meltdown, it just isn’t, it isn’t, no one is panicking,” confirmed a panicking Arsenal fan talking at the speed of light.

“It’s just one loss, champions bounce back and that’s what we’ll be come the end of the season. Some people are calling this team The Vulnerables, which is like not even funny. And I’m not saying this ‘cus there’s a meltdown because there isn’t,” shared another mid-meltdown fan denying a meltdown.

Google searches for ‘can a team get a trophy for being top of the league at the halfway point’ spiked last night in the north London area, with the clearest evidence of ‘bottling it’ coming in the form of fans failing to hit Kevin De Bruyne with bottles as he left the pitch during City 3-1 win over Arsenal.

“I’m not even going to bring up the fact De Bruyne should be banned for life for pushing the Boss. We are cool and in control, we have a game in hand,” said one fan banging on the club’s offices demanding to examine each players’ set of stud to check for ‘slip-up-ability’.

“Guardiola wouldn’t have made that Gerrard slip comment unless he wanted to plant the thought of slipping in ours and manifesting into existence, no I’m not crazy,” continued to fan, already mourning the loss of an open bus tour.

Elsewhere, observing that Arsenal’s three loses this season have come against Erik Ten Hag, Sean Dyche and Pep Guardiola, Eddie Howe has been pictured shaving his head in anticipation of Saturday’s clash with Arsenal.