‘You’re Not My Real Taoiseach!’ Yells Nation While Slamming Every Door In House


LEO Varadkar has begun his role as step-Taoiseach following Micheál Martin’s exit at the weekend, and the people of Ireland have gone ‘full teenager’ as they try to deal with this upsetting scenario.

“Well let us tell you something Leo, don’t think we’re going to call you Taoiseach, Leo, is that understood Leo? Are we cool with that Leo?” stropped hundreds of thousands of Irish voters today.

“And don’t worry about us spoiling this big happy families thing you have going on here Leo, you don’t have to worry about us for very long. Come the next general election, we’re outta here okay? So yeah, enjoy this while it lasts”.

The nation then stormed off to their room to cool down as president Micheal D Higgins assured the new Taoiseach that the nation doesn’t really mean what they say and that they’ll come around by next budget when they need a few euro.

“Do you think the last Taoiseach had it easy? Hah, they treated him like this too. Then when you come along, they act like Micheál Martin was their best friend in the world, it’s classic rebelling against an authority figure,” chuckled president Higgins as he appointed Varadkar as Taoiseach at the weekend.

The ceremony was interrupted by the sound of screeching tyres, as Varadkar’s car was joyridden out of the Aras by an unruly nation.