China To Allow Couples Third Child As Long As They Grow Up To Be Male Soldiers

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FOLLOWING years of attempted controlled population, China has announced it is to extend its previous one child extension to three children as long as the third child joins the military, WWN has learned.

The People’s Republic implemented a one child rule in 1980, and it ended in 2016 to allow a second child in a bid to curb its ageing population devoid of fit young men to fight for their country.

“If you have a girl, please bin it and try again,” read an official Chinese government statement, “and if you can start military training from birth that would be sweet as we’ll probably be needing them quite soon over the next few years”.

The self-confessed Russian ally announced the new rule just days after Vladimir Putin announced a full invasion of Ukraine while increasing their own pressure on the independent state of Taiwan, however it denied any connection.

“Ah jaysis no, not at all; this measure is for purely population reasons only and nothing to do with the impending world war that’s about to spark over the coming by Russia,” a Chinese official insisted, “sure, if we wanted to take over the world we’d have spiked your take aways ages ago, or created a bio-engineered virus, that kind of thing”.

Meanwhile, the United States is contemplating a one child gun policy, which would see every minor under the age of 18 carry a semi-automatic weapon of their choosing.

“This is actually purely to protect themselves in the event of a school shooting,” a US official confirmed.

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